What was wrong with her? Why was she feeling so aroused from being so close to this beast? Raising one hand, Barbara put her fingers to her cheeks. She was burning up! Dear God, she was on fire!"Easy, Lightning, easy..."Barbara walked up to the stall, one hand stretched in front of her. She crooned to the big horse, her body trembling with an excitement foreign to her up to this moment. He was snorting again, shaking his head, his long, beautiful mane fluttering over his neck. Again he pawed the ground nervously. Barbara drew her hand back a second, then stretched it forward tentatively. In a moment she found herself petting the beast, feeling his warm body against her hand.She had to have more, had to feel more!Trembling, Barbara reached down and opened the stall. Lightning paused, his big eyes rolling toward her as she stepped in, one hand constantly on his body. She felt her flesh crawling with a new kind of electricity! She was breathing hard now, breathing as hard as she had when. ’ I closed my eyes and asked for forgiveness. Instead of some divine sign, what happened was, Christine threw up all over me. I placed her back in her crib and hurried to the bathroom to clean myself up. I took my blouse off and ran it under the water as tears rolled down my cheeks. I was a complete failure1 I looked up at my reflection in the mirror and almost didn’t recognize the person staring back at me. I hadn’t had time to shower in the past two days and my hair looked absolutely terrible. I had put on extra weight from all of the eating that I had done. I was ugly and I was fat, AND I was a lousy mother! I ran out of the bathroom to retrieve another blouse from my dresser. I put it on quickly and made for the back door. I just had to get out of there! Even if it was for just a few minutes, I needed to get away. I staggered out to my little garden and sank to my knees. Without even thinking about what I was doing, I started grabbing handfuls of weeds that had sprung up and began.
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